Lori V

Lori V

Every single person in Sonoma, California peers at the western horizon daily hoping for the promised El Niño deluge that will replenish our wells and our reservoirs and the Sierra Nevada snowpack.  No dice as yet, but in the meantime we furtively relished what October proffered us — blue sky day after blue sky day.  Perfect weather for Lori to doze under the arbor in son-in-law Owen’s Zero Gravity chaise lounge.

For the past four days she has taken her (light, organic, sugar-free) meals out there while chatting with friends and family, has walked laps in the orchard, has napped, and has kept Mr. Barfman at bay.  On Thursday we were that close to re-admitting her to the hospital after four consecutive days when Mr. Barfman had the better of her and reduced her body weight by eight pounds.  Her tank was very nearly dry when her medical team suggested one more remedy . . . And sonovagun it worked!

Now Lori munches healthy foods throughout the day and putters around in her closet and handles emails and feels grateful for the friends who have created a balloon forest outside our bedroom window or show up and afford Nurse Bill some getaway time or have devoted their culinary expertise to Mason Jar meals that appear in the fridge.

Lori’s Vermont friend Mica, with whom she served on the opening waitress team at the Mill Valley Howard Johnson’s in 1972, showed up last week with her husband Saint Barry and glued me back together.

Then daughter Kate, with her with her burping smiling entertaining infant son Jack and her mother-in-law Mary Leary, also showed up to provide comic relief and practical help.  Other props have materialized in the persons of Lori’s Mom Ruth and son Tucker and son-in-law Owen and neighbors and church friends.

In seven days Lori commences Chemo Round II; three weeks after that Chemo Round III.  Then a CT scan to see if the strong drugs have drubbed the rumors into remission.

We have received an additional bit of bad news since the last blog.

Not only is this strain of cancer recurring . . . It is fast.  Each remission is predicted to be briefer than its predecessor, and Lori’s first remission — between her hysterectomy of November 2014 and this completely unexpected re-occurrence in August — lasted nine months.

It turns out that a very uncharacteristic and nasty cell in Lori’s uterus went cancerous.  Assuming that this course of chemo puts the cancer in remission, Lori can expect its return in something under nine months, and each successive remission will be briefer yet.  If there is an alternative remedy, we will find it.

Grief and hope and gratitude for this day compete in our hearts just now.

A confession.  I have done a miserable job of labeling.  Mason jars and casserole pans and vases have accumulated here, and I have no idea who they belong to.  I stash them on a table on the back porch, and hope that you will feel free to stop by and retrieve them.

A joy.  Your wonderful cards now fill a grocery sack in the dining room.  They mean so much.

Another joy.  Thank you thank you for posting responses to these blogs.  She reads them all.

Nothing could be worse than the prognosis we have received.  Nothing could be better than to have such friends as you.

72 thoughts on “Lori V”

  1. Dear Bill and Lori, You are two special and wonderful people on the most difficult journey you have ever faced. But you are not alone. So many of us who love you are with you, even from many miles away.
    Thank you for staying in touch. So glad to learn that Lori got to spend time with Jack, the best medicine of all.
    Hope you continue to keep Mr. Barfman away.
    Love to you both.
    David and Lyn

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  5. Hi Lori and Bill,

    I was so grateful to get Bill’s note this morning. I have been agonizing that I am not there to help in some way or just see you both and hold your hands. I have had my class reunion with friends staying for the week, then we hopped on a plane for our trip with Drew to Hawaii. As soon as I get home in a week or so I will be able to come up. I want to be there.

    Lori, we did our flash mob dance to “Your Mama Don’t Dance” at the Class Party – 50 people old folks, young at heart, participated. It was a big success and loads of fun. There is a video somewhere out there, but I am loathe to see it, since I was in the front row!

    I like to think about Lori puttering around. That is the image I want to keep for now. I am so sorry to hear about all the weight loss and vomiting and everything else. I know you know we are all rooting for you and sending every good prayer and thought.

    Much love,

    Renée

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  7. Dear Lori and Bill, that is great news Mr. Barfman has left the buidling. I am grateful to hear Lori is now eating small healthy meals, is starting to gain back the weight she lost, and is feeling well enough for walks in the garden. puttering in her closet and tending to emails. Small things but big gifts that mean so much. I envision you both surrounded by the light, and I think only positive thoughts. Love, Peace and Hope, Margie

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  8. The medicine and the doctors are your friends, yes, even in their unique temperaments. Your doctors are emissaries of the Divine Essence that is all there is even the skill of those who are clearing your path; and yes, really, all is in Divine Order. Your view of being with what is makes clear your journey through the mountains, under bridges into the light of knowing your truth. Your vision allows clarity through all that you are experiencing and ultimately it is loving, being grateful and appreciating all that is. It is your faith, strength, and knowing you are not alone not only with your friends and loved ones, but the Essence of who you are watches over you, embraces and enfolds you, for you have a purpose uniquely yours! Blessed be. May you embrace these truths, anchor your heart, mind, body and soul in the sacredness of your journey. I hold this all in the highest light of perfection. And so it is. I have fond memories of you both.

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  9. Dear Lori & Bill. Thinking of you during walks, prayers and Sunday’s in church. I know you probably don’t like being waited on Lori! But lean back and let others do what they can for you until your energy returns and you can help others!
    It’s tough to do! Enjoy your blue skies until the El Niño comes along!!
    Funny thing Lori, I’m in Florida with a friend, and sat next to Keith Browns brother Kendall last night! Funny world!
    Feel better, sweet Lori!! Love to you and Bill!!!

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  10. Oh if you could only know how many people were thinking of you at ISPA, and around town….you are an ISPA celebrity….oh wait, you are a Sonoma celebrity too! And I get to know and love both! xxoo Here’s to both of you… always making other people’s lives better and spreading joy. Back at ya!

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  11. May each day be brighter then the last. We think of Lori and your family daily. There is hope at the end of the tunnel…the doctors aren’t always right and miracles happen. Lori deserves better and she will prevail.

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  12. Dear Lori and Bill,
    When I think of both of you a huge smile appears on my face because of all of the wonderful times we have shared together and our fabulous dance party in Italy! You bring joy and happiness to everyone! Big hugs to both you and know that we are sending you lots of love 😍

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  14. Dear Lori and Bill,

    You have been such loving and caring people for so many over the years and I am lucky to have felt that as one of “daughter Katie’s” friends. Your strength as individuals and as a couple is something I have admired over the years and has always made me see you as true role models. I only hope to become the wonderful parents, friends, family members, caregivers, and entertainers the two of you have been to so many. Your adventurous spirit has not only been something that has always made me feel a special bond, but again has inspired me to know that you can always do it – life and the pursuit of all that learning and exploration can bring. Lori, you are so strong and I am humbled by your example of balancing grace with that strength. All my love and well wishes in the world.

    Love ,
    Robyn

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  15. Hello Lori!

    On my way to GWS now, via Boston and Miami and you will be missed! We will be thinking of you and sending all the good thoughts. love, light and prayers your way. Thinking of you as always.

    Love,
    Anna

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  16. Very Dear Bill and Lori,
    Our love and prayers come your way. My mother is sad to hear this, she says she loves you and is praying for you.
    A fact, You clicked the last picture of mum and dad together. It on the wall and we so often remember your smiles, positivity and love when you visited us.
    Did you try the” journey “?
    Love and prayers
    Jesper and Sabreena

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  18. Your candor, communication, and that wonderful photo of your smiles are gifts to all of us who send our deepest love and encouragement right back atcha. It is a beautiful Autumn day today. Soak up the warmth like a cat and thank you for letting us love you.

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  20. Dear Bill and Lori,
    I am thinking of you daily, and hoping so much that all of the love and support around you can be stronger than the cancer. I so admire you both, and wish there were more that I could do to discourage the cancer and help with the fight. Please don’t hesitate if there is ever anything I can help with.
    Blessings,
    Annie

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  21. Bill and Lori….
    A beautiful fall morning driving out to Point Reyes to buy wild flower seeds. The presence of Creator reminding me to ask how your are doing. Just wanting you to know that we are here, and that continued love comes your way.
    xxxx Marty

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  22. All the love, blessings and hugs I can muster are sent your way today…Thanksgiving. So much gratefulness felt today spilling over on to you both. I am grateful for your presence in my life.
    Cozette

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