New Zealand

New Zealand
New Zealand unzipped itself from Australia 70 million years ago and has been going its own way ever since. A few moments later, at 66 million years ago, an asteroid the size of Rhode Island slammed into Yucatan, lofted debris and ash into the atmosphere, and blocked the sun’s benevolent radiation from all the earth. Good bye T-Rex. Hello mammals. Absent vicious giant inconvenient razortooth lizards, mammals proliferated and grew and prospered. Everywhere but New Zealand, which drifted away before the little fur balls could swim across. Only two mammals lived here when the Maoris paddled their double-hulled dugout in from Tahiti in 1280 AD — a big bat and a little bat.

The Maoris discovered two very large islands populated exclusively with birds, most of them flightless. Over the eons the birds had lost interest in the effortfull business of flying. Why expend all that energy when there are no pouncing predators from whom you need to flee to the treetops? Instead let’s grub around here on the forest floor and let our wings go vestigial.

Largest among these waddlers was the moa which stood ten feet tall and outweighed a lineman. Despite its mass, the moa was the only species of New Zealand bird with a predator, the spectacular Haast’s Eagle, the largest feathered dive bomber ever.  When Mr. Moa shuffled out for his morning drink, Mrs. Haast timed her stoop to strike with the force of a cinder block falling from an eighth-story window, sunk her talons into windpipe and spine, and had food for days when the struggles subsided.

The Maoris achieved the same result by walking up to the giant idiot and clubbing it. They also burned off forest cover, and shortly after they rendered the moa extinct, so went the great eagle. In the years following 1280, the Maoris paddled in ten more canoes — seventy women among them — and from those seventy wombs all current Maoris descended.

Eventually the Europeans arrived with their bogus treaties and cockamamie ideas. Let’s import bunnies! Great for hunting! Right. They bred like bunnies. Well then. Let’s import stoats and weasels to control the bunnies! Right. The stoats and weasels instead discovered a smorgasbord of flightless birds and overran the place. Good luck finding a kiwi bird in the wild these days. (Confession. The kiwi in the photo is behind glass. And stuffed.)

In recent decades New Zealanders have scrambled to set things right with the Maoris and have protected the native fauna. It is a country which prides itself for punching above its weight, and it does. With a population of 4.5 million it has reasons to brag.

– It was the world’s first country to grant women the franchise to vote, in 1893.
– It took the America’s Cup from America.
– It invented Peter Jackson and the Hobbit / Lord of the Rings movies.
– The All Blacks are the world’s best rugby team.
– H. A. Hackett opened the world’s first commercial bungee jump at Kawarau Gorge in 1990. We stopped by there for a gander on the way in to Queenstown. And . . . What the heck . . . Why not . . . Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

 

20 thoughts on “New Zealand”

  2. You have to be planning to write a book of these travels? I recently saw an article about a person traveling the world, taking pictures and claiming lots of “greens” for their effort? Another story from a Hungarian friend on how the Maoris ate the British to defy colonization back in the day? Enjoy your travels.

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  3. Cheers, mate! You captured the spirit of our tour and some of the spectacular scenery. Looking forward to watching the video Tom took of you taking the leap on YouTube so the whole world can salute your fearlessness that we witnessed firsthand. Eeeeeee, indeed!

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  6. May your adventurous spirit take you many more places on this planet of such abundance and beauty! And WE get to benefit from your history and geography lessons along the way…

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  7. Bill: You are clearly fully recovered. Thanks for writing/sending the wonderful blog. Makes me want to go back there soon and stay.

    Best wishes for shouting Alleluias on Sunday and helping Jack hunt for Easter eggs,

    Judith

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  12. Hi Bill – Love New Zealand. As you know that was David’s birthplace. We were there four times and loved every minute of it. In these days I am often sorry that we didn’t move there which would have been easy as David was a dual US/New Zealand citizen. Oh well,
    The photo of the bungee jumping looks as if it was taken at the Shotover River. Did you give it a try? We didn’t even though they said that it would be free if you were over 65 and would jump naked. We turned that down even though we qualified for half of it.

    Keep on traveling…..Love, Jan

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  14. Hi Bill
    A wonderful place, but so far for us ! Thank you for travelling for us and discribe it.
    We wish you with the all family a Happy Easter.
    Do you plan to travel to Europe ? Hope to see you soon
    Bises
    Colette & Andi

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  15. Bill , Did a two week tour of both islands in Jan. with the Pa. Hort. Soc. Fun to read about your adventure . xxoo Nancy

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  17. Hey Bill, you looked great in the bungee photos. Great trip and so enjoyed seeing you again!
    Dale and Jim (fellow travelers)

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  18. You absolutely have to put these great readable pieces together in a volume of some kind or submit them for publication somewhere. They are much to good to limit the size of the audience to your buds. I have thought of that kind of jump a couple of times, but then could not find my meds. Darn. We have friends down south who swear that the only other place on earth they would consider living – and they have been literally everywhere on this planet – is New Zealand. Always great to read your writing. Safe travels.

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  19. Thank you Bill! Always wonderful to experience amazing adventures through your eyes & your words!
    And yes please. A book would be so wonderful.
    What a brave soul you are to bungee jump. eeeeeeeeee……..wowee…….
    Have a very Happy Easter with your beautiful family.
    sending you all our love,
    Susan & Peter

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